itsnotgayifits-cpr:

tomlinsarse:

i’m about to cry

my brother told me that only today he found out that LGBT stood for les/gay/bi/trans instead of lettuce green bacon tomato

he looked at me and he had tears in his eyes and he said in the most horrified voice

i’ve been telling people i like LGBT sandwiches okay that means i’ve been having gay sandwiches

then he started to cry and ran off and yelled

they all think i’ve had gay threesomes!!!!!

i’m actually crying omg 

woops

(via illbefineonmyown1996)

rochellejanee:

i posted this on my friends wall

and people were bitching about how it was creepy 

so then i posted this

(via distinctmemory)

yolo-tier:

welcome-to-the-sinners-ball:

imgayitsok:

God bless drag queens.

(Source: b-random, via distinctmemory)

eemmi:

what if I pretend to be British for like the first 6 months at college only around my roommate and I wake her up every morning at like 6 am and say like “up up darling it’s time for your tea the birds are singing a spoon full of medicine makes the medicine go down” and then we get back from winter break and switch back to normal and pretend she made the whole thing up until she loses her mind that would be fun

(Source: hyperbolequeen, via fuck-this-thing-we-call-life)

kardashitans:

“awwwww shit this is my jam” i say as i spread it on my toast

(via everydaygay)

splinteryourspine:

splinteryourspine:

I just watched an old couple get into their car and set off the alarm and then try to turn it off for like ten minutes before giving up and driving away with the alarm still going off

now that i think about it maybe i just watched an old couple steal a car

(via distinctmemory)