distinctmemory

porrim-some-sugar-on-me:

lock-lamora:

duhpercy:

ads for pads these days are all about how thin and discreet pads are and how no one will ever be tell you’re wearing them wELL HOW ABOUT YOU MAKE THE PACKAGING QUIETER BECAUSE THERE’S NO FUCKING POINT IN HAVING A THIN DISCREET PAD WHEN EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU RIPPING ONE OPEN IN THE SCHOOL BATHROOM

Use the men’s room they won’t expect it

'Who the fuck is eating chips in here?'

distinctmemory

dailydoseofsamantics:

There is this guy on the bus who calls himself Jeff. Jeff narrates the entire bus ride in third person. Today was the only day I have been on the bus with Jeff where someone has told him to shut up. Jeff sighed and then said “Jeff dramatically looks out of the window while sighing. Jeff just couldn’t understand why people had to be so rude.” The person who told him to shut up now looks like he is going to cry out of frustration.